ignore this if you have no interest on "me(noel rodriguez)" in general cause this is probably like a pathetic origin of mine or something, clearly if you see me as a cool or an awesome person this journal would probably flip that. anyways on the people who have interest on me or basically what life i had here it is ....

what's the purpose of this? for you to have pity on me? for you to relate i guess? for me to earn some comfort on simply exposing my true self i guess... i dunno whatever it is i just had to do it

maybe i'll start to upload one by one  all the images i got in stock on my mass storage while i draw more for reserved clients i got a lot of level 2 sketch's just waiting to be finished  ...

a got a lot in my list and i'm set to finish them all, anyways i wish to tell a lot to you guys( the ones you read my journal ) but i really don't know what to write these days since i decided to abort the studio i was recently staying at and my partner decided to left me

anyways  i don't wanna be sad in this enduring hard times instead i really wanna cheer my self and keep my spirit up while im in a process of finishing all this characters and pages
that i need to clear out

with that being said, KOMIKON just happened and i decided to come out of my cave and meet actual people, and i just discovered that i was retarded all these years for not coming out and see people, i even forgot how heartwarming a simple HI  or HELLO or just a SMILE from someone you idolize or admire, it really is fun having a walk and seeing THEM. sharing stories and jokes... god that was fun....  

i definitely made a big mistake my locking my self on my own little world all these years, i thought i would be better off all alone and concentrate and focus on my goals, clearly i don't have  or own any social account for a reason i saw myself as a anti-social back when i was a teen, and i have been an ICE ever since. thinking i was that cool. i mean can you really blame me for that? since i'm a habit of exposing my self and origins now i might as well go all out (i don't care if you'll make fun of me or laugh ) i was ALIENATED cause of being quite and drawing all the time and to be clear i was ALIENATED in all school level... so if you do the math my gang was compose of ME AND ME and MY DRAWING that's all i have

then i met people like me and sadly it didn't go well for being FRIENDS cause of my bad judgement and behavior towards them i only wish to be forgiven by THEM...  i saw the world as a one big HELL cause i wanted it to be, i was so BLINDED BY HATE that i honestly think MISERY was my friend and i'm bound to live a life of  nothingness and convincing my self that i was contented being alone. but it did work and i actually saw myself advancing or improving on the stuff that i do or maybe because that's the only thing that was LEFT to  LOVE
so everything was poured into paper.. but still i knew somethings still missing, i had that hole in my soul. that i knew i left myself years ago and wish to have it, i just don't know where to start....

i figured visiting friends old and new maybe and see what life has to offer i guess do some art-jams with fellow local artist, whoever is willing to be friends with me, cause clearly nothing is interesting about me, what i go through everyday is this

  "wake up, shower, go to the nearest mall or fast food chain, eat and grab an extra for midnight ,get back to the apartment im staying at,and DRAW starting on the morning noon and all the way up to midnight then i'll eventually decide  to convince myself that i need some sleep and sometimes i don't have luck on that part"   clearly im boring but you have no idea that i left this world while on my drawing table

anyways wish me luck on my changing ways and hopefully i get invited on some groups or something or i'll just some of the oc's on the local scenes just to have a starting point on something i need to talk to people hahahaha

im not crazy
-noel